Working Class Heroes

Happy April Fools!

During National Day, one of the staff members mentioned to his class about the photography competition that is being held.

Lecturer: Ok class, the theme of this year’s National Day photography competition is The Singapore Spirit. Go take a few days to think about it and submit your entries.

Student: ….Er…. Teacher, need to go cemetery ah?

all the way to Spring/Summer ’10. HAHAHA!

For everyone who loved the horror movie Shutter, I present to you:

Things to do before you die

I have been feeling the urge to achieve more these days. Most probably it is due to my impending 25th birthday and according to general concensus, is the age whereby you should have something under your name. I don’t know who I heard it from but I remember it vividly.

Other than a lot of non-fiction books about globalisation, religion, economics and a ton of fancy paper products in my room, I don’t think I have much under my name. And my DVD player, LCD TV and Hair Dryer doesn’t count as assets either.

So what happens? I start to fret that I am under achieveing, getting complacent or  generally becoming a goal-less lamb (in this case I might be too old to be a lamb, so I shall be know as the old sheep). I begin to draft out extensive plans. Learning how to drive, planning when it is possible for me to take my masters, thinking how I can make use of my outstanding project work to wrestle more money out of the organisation so that I can afford to have something under my name.

The end product = afraid of turning 25 = early onset of late 20s blues = generally feeling discontented.

I have no solution for it. I guess the only thing I can do is to push myself to achieve those goals, and if I am still unhappy, I blame the fucker for the 25th birthday theory.

On Friday when I checked my email, I discovered something totally miraculous!

The ah-beng wrote me an apology letter! What are the chances of that… haha. Besides crediting it to the powers that be, I am really shocked. It is not because I feel like he will not repent, but I just didn’t expect it to come on the same day when he looked like he was gonna assasinate me. How does he have such a short reaction time? I even had a bad dream about him, that was how bad it went down. But I’m glad the mini storm in my teacup is over.

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My curtains have a crazy story of their own. Initially, when I bought my curtains, I bought one packet of it, thinking that it contains a set of 2 panels. When I return, I discovered that there was only 1 inside! Feeling dumb, I just let it be, thinking that one day i will buy the other one. That one day never came, cos I was so busy. When I returned to the store, that particular design was out. So I thought, “why not just buy a new set? That old one just makes me feel stupid.”

Learning from my old mistake, I took 2 panels this time. Upon removing them from their packaging, I discovered something strange.

I bought 2 panels. OF DIFFERENT PRINTS. A totally -fuck- moment. My family and relatives had a good laugh at my stupidity. And I have to spend more money to buy ANOTHER panel because they said that I have already opened it and they don’t entertain exchanges. I totally hail from the pinnacle of stupidity. ARGH!

Remember my post a while ago on the girl who got her face slashed?

turned out she slashed her own face.

What is the world coming to?!

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and i got my first death threat from an ultimate beng with a lot of colourful tattoos.

Today I was in class when I heard a student sneezing, so I asked:

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Oh I got the bug, so I am not feeling well…”

“Oh the flu bug? Take good care, be sure to drink lots of water!”

“No, not the flu bug. I got the Cholera bug. You know what that is right?”

“(?!)….erm, yah. Just take care of yourself.”

*In my head I’m thinking: isn’t cholera fatal? what in the world?! but he was so sure about it i had to just say yes.

So, I went to Wiki it.

Cholera, sometimes known as Asiatic or epidemic cholera, is an infectious gastroenteritis caused by enterotoxin-producing strains of the bacterium Vibrio cholerae.n a common scenario, the disease progresses from the first liquid stool to shock in 4 to 12 hours, with death following in 18 hours to several days, unless oral rehydration therapy is provided.

Ok, if my class headcount goes down, I guess I know why.

Hi everyone I’ve finally completed my 1 week of work and my first day of teaching.

IT IS COMPLETELY EXHAUSTING. My department is short staffed so I am lecturing maximum hours, about 25 or so. 4 hours of lessons at one go is no joke…

Most of my students are very shocked to see me, because currently I am the youngest lecturer in my school! I have some 250 students that I teach this term and some of them are freaky but most of them nice. or maybe I haven’t seen what’s coming yet.

Some FAQs from my students on my 1st day:

Teacher, how old are you?

where do you stay?

How much are you paid?

Do you have a boyfriend?

Can I have your number?

Can we ask you out?

What you like to eat?

You like to watch movies?

Freaky comments:

Teacher, I promise you that I will never miss your class *looks at you with bambi eyes*

Teacher, you like to drink that? Where you buy from? Why I can’t find it in my supermarket? If you like I buy for you after class. Every class I will buy for you.

Teacher, I think my brother wants to know you.

Teacher, guess which CCA i am from.

Teacher, can I call you SEXY in class? (?!?!)

Teacher, can I don’t call you teacher? I want to call you my ZONG4! (meaning your senior in hokkien or something)

Hahaha…

i have more to share but I guess I’ll have to do it later! GTG!

This post has its origins from my dinner with Candy and Dorothy. As usual I was telling them about all the dumb things that I have encountered and they remarked: Why do you always encounter things like that?! I bet all of you who have known me for a while are asking that question too.

My answer is,  it might just be the butterfly effect or the law of attraction or just that nature has its freaky ways! I am not a person with typical logic, therefore this transpires in all my interaction with the world and ultimately it shapes your life, and mine is currently in the shape named “bizarre”.

Let me show you a picture of myself:

This is me last week at my brother’s Passing Out Parade with his girlfriend. I do think I look like a normal youth (i insist! haha) but you really should take a look at this:

Found me already? If not, let me direct you:

And you were wondering why there is the crazy in me.

BUT, I do think those genes come from somewhere. Here, may I present, the Original crazy:

The Original: My mum. That smirk is worth a million bucks.

Her classic statements involve:

1. “You know you are in trouble if your bum is bigger than your boyfriend’s” (???)

2. “Diarrhoea makes people skinny, it’s great.”

3. When watching a horror movie: “If i’m the protagonist, I will never go to a haunted house with less than 50 people and a priest.” (haha.)

and many more. I must say I love her for all this quoteworthy stuff. It’s sorta like brain food. like…garbage fast food.

And the woman who gave me that crazy haircut is her younger sister, my dear Auntie Charlotte. She is on the extreme left of this family photo.

Eighties Crazy. My auntie in red looks really pissd. and everyone is looking everywhere.

Her daughter, which is my cousin Celeste, taken just last week:

Doing the crazy and rocking the same hairstyle I had. My auntie sure loves that style.

After the casual introduction to some of my family members (if I told you about everyone, I’ll have to write till tomorrow), you’d probably know why my life is a stand up comedy in the making! if the opportunity arises, I’ll introduce my Granny, she is definitely a rock star in her own right. Haha.